Echoes of Heartbreak
by Kkristabell
Summary: A devastating fire leaves Danny searching for answers and Lindsay...alone.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is my first ever attempt at drama/angst so sorry if I didn't quite get the emotions right, but know that I'm working on it! Hope you enjoy! _

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine.

**_Echoes of Heartbreak_**

Danny dropped to the curb in weariness and defeat. He was sweaty, covered in soot and his body boasted cuts and bruises. _This can't be happening. There has to be some mistake because I can't survive if it's true. _

The building in front of him barely stood, looking reminiscent of a prop used in old war movies. Single planks of wood stood as silent sentinels to the charred remains of what was once 155 East 55th Street.

Now reduced to a pile of smoldering embers this once magnificent apartment complex had housed families and working professionals. It had survived numerous rejuvenation and renovation projects to preserve the original architectural structure, but now it was nothing more than stray bits of building material.

By-standers gawked and reporters held live breaking news reports, but Danny sat oblivious to all the chaos enveloping him.

He had helped residents fleeing the building find safety across the street, had done everything in his power to remain calm and collected making sure he assisted the fire department in any way possible without interfering. He'd dogged falling embers, watched the fire department race in time and again to rescue trapped residents and a few of their own men who got caught in the fire's rage.

It hadn't occurred to him until after he'd dialed her cell phone only to be dumped directly into voicemail that she might've been home. He'd wanted to let her know her building was in flames before she heard it on the local news. Hearing her voice telling him to leave a message after the tone sent waves of terror coursing through his body.

He'd rushed to the nearest fire fighter he could find, asking him to check the east side of the fourth floor for people, but the man had shook his head informing him that the building in that area was goner.

He'd scanned the faces of the crowd, both survivors and witnesses, for any sign of her but there was nothing. A little girl stood in the crowd cowering under blankets, clutching a pale brown teddy bear and crying out the word "Mommy" again and again. Her father picked her up trying to ease her pain even as his own eyes filled with tears.

He'd turned away from the moment between father and daughter feeling a lump gather in his own throat and continued his search. His eyes had scanned people until they stung with strain and his fingers dialed a hundred numbers until there was no one left to call.

He'd finally had to accept that no one had seen her since she left the lab earlier that day, and if she'd been running errands she would've returned by now hearing about her building fire. Finally being informed that all of the casualties in the fire were people who lived on the fourth floor of the building had been Danny's undoing.

Now he sat empty and aching feeling anger slowly collect in the corners of his mind. _Why? Why, damnit! She never hurt anyone; she was loving and giving, a rare quality in anyone today. Those bastards we have to hunt everyday for the miserable shit they do never suffer this way, but her…she deserved it least of all! _

Danny raised his eyes towards the sky trying to keep the tears from falling. _How could you give her to me only to take her away-Damn you God! How could you! She was the only good thing I've ever had in my life- did that mean nothing to you? Was this all some sort of twisted game for your amusement? Answer me, damn you! ANSWER ME!_

The dam broke and the tears came. At first, single drops that seeped from the corners of his eye felt cooling on his cheeks, and then the torrent erupted and all restraint was lost. He buried his head in his hands leaning forward against his knees while sobs shook his body.

The wind that had harassed the city all day picked up and ashes swirled around Danny's body covering him in a fine mist. The crowd thinned and the medical examiner's office arrived to remove the currently accessible bodies; the ones buried beneath the buildings ruble would have to excavated and identified later.

Danny didn't feel the hand which pressed against his shoulder until a voice spoke, "Danny?" He turned and looked up at Mac and tried to speak, but words failed him.

"I know Danny. I know." Mac dropped to the curb beside Danny. The young CSI's anguish was palpable and Mac felt answering pangs remembering when he'd realized Claire was gone forever. He knew that any words he'd say wouldn't ease the searing hurt that currently filled Danny's gut, so he simply sat.

Time ticked by until finally Danny spoke, "Oh God Mac, what am I gonna do?" His voice cracked on the last word and Mac grabbed Danny's shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze.

"You're going to take it minute by minute of every day until the pain eases up. You're going to probably cry more than you have in your life, and you're going to want to curl up in a ball and die, but you'll push through all of that because giving in would mean betraying everything she loved about you."

Danny met Mac's eyes and saw the remnants of pain that still lingered from his wife's passing. He nodded, "I love her so much Mac." Tears still swam in his eyes as he gazed at the shell of the building. "I'd give anything…" Danny trailed off as tears choked off his words again.

Mac finished Danny's sentence in his head, a simple task since he'd said the same things to himself for years now. _I'd give anything to touch her, hold her, just have one more chance to look in her eyes and tell her I love her, to see her smile, hear her laughter or just to smell her scent._

Finally Mac stood and gently tugged Danny's arm. "Come on, you can't sit here all night. You need a shower, at least."

Danny looked at Mac with unseeing eyes and allowed himself to be pulled up and led away. His feet moved propelling his body forward but his heart lay behind covered in soot among the ashes…with his Montana.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This fic while about D, is in a way, anchored by Mac- his emotions, his memories, and his reasoning effect how the rest of the story unfolds. Enjoy!_

Disclaimer: CSI: NY's characters aren't mine in any possible way (although if they were I'd have LOTS of fun with them)!

**Echoes of Heartbreak II**

Mac ran a hand wearily over his face and rolled his shoulders trying to alleviate some tension. Danny had fallen into an emotionally exhausted sleep just as dawn crept over the horizon, but haunting memories of Claire refused to let Mac relax.

They hadn't talked much before Danny had passed out on the sofa. It had mostly been the camaraderie of sitting and knowing you weren't alone while your brain frantically tried to make sense of everything.

Mac hadn't asked questions about Danny's relationship with Lindsay and in turn he was too torn up to even wonder how Mac knew. The two had kept it under wraps at work not wanting to spur office gossip, but nothing could hide the way they looked at each other and that had been the dead give away.

A grating sound drew Mac's attention to where his cell phone vibrated against a granite tabletop. He'd fielded tons of calls from the team asking about Danny and from the fire Captain keeping him up-to-date on the recovery effort; he assumed this call was of the same sort.

Reaching for his phone he barely held back a groan as he saw Peyton's cell phone number flash across his caller id. He didn't want to speak to her with memories of Claire gnawing at him, but knew if he didn't answer, Peyton would show up to check on him and that would be even worse.

"Taylor."

"Mac it's me. Look I know this is probably a bad time but…"

""What is it Peyton?" _And if you knew it was a bad time why'd you still call?_

He could hear Peyton take a steadying breath on the other end of the line. "The recovery crew has been bringing in bodies from the fire all night for identification. In fact most have been recovered already."

"Okay well I guess that's good," Mac muttered still unsure of the reason for her call.

"That's not all…You see Mac I overheard the Captain talking and he mentioned that they were gaining access to the building's blueprints from the City archives."

"They should be able to get the blueprints from the architectural firm that most recently revamped the building; they shouldn't need city archives."

Excitement trickled into Peyton's voice. "No Mac, they want the earliest version of the blueprints available! Apparently there are some people unaccounted for and they think that in the original building structure there were cellars of a sort built to store goods from when it…"

"Whoa! Slow down. The building was originally a factory, right?"

Peyton nodded before she realized Mac couldn't see her. "Oh- right. And apparently when the building was originally erected it was common to build sort of root cellar type things into the basement floor for extra storage."

With his mind suddenly alert and whirling Mac pummeled her with questions. "What would make them think that those storage compartments even still exist?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you that there are five people still unaccounted for form the fire."

"Unaccounted? Is Lindsay one of them?"

"They haven't been recovered from the building remains and yes…so far Lindsay hasn't been identified."

"But they're still locating bodies, right?"

"Yes, Mac I just thought you should know."

"Why didn't anyone call me earlier about this?"

Peyton hesitated. "They didn't want to say anything when so much is still uncertain. I just thought you should know… but I really have to get back to work before Syd wonders where I am."

"Alright…and Peyton?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks." Before she could reply Mac closed his phone and stared at Danny's sleeping form.

Hope. It was a dangerous thing. He remembered the hope that was given to him only to have it snatched away, making him almost go a little crazy. He didn't want that for Danny. Too much was at stake.

He'd wait until there was more information, at least to find out if the storage compartments actually existed, before filling Danny in. It would simply be too cruel otherwise.

Danny stirred and Mac wandered into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee feeling a zing through his body that he hadn't felt in years and knew all too well to be dangerous. Removing a picture of Claire from his wallet and tracing her image with his fingertip, Mac allowed himself to acknowledge what that unwanted feeling was: Hope. Not for himself but for Danny; that somehow, someway he'd be spared the devastation of losing the woman he loved.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned them, but sadly I don't.

**III**

Danny stretched as he sat upright on the couch and ran a hand wearily across his jaw line. Wincing as his palm encountered the sand papery texture of stubble, he briefly closed his eyes. _God she loved our mornings together, teasing me about needing to shave, arguing over who'd make the bed…_

Roughly jerking his eyes open against the agonizing memory, he accepted the cup of hot coffee Mac offered him gratefully. Day one without Lindsay stretched before him like a black abyss of misery waiting to swallow him whole. With her flame of life extinguished, his wavered and flickered, fighting to burn.

Sipping his coffee, Danny finally turned his attention to Mac. "Thanks for this." He lifted the steaming mug in acknowledgement. "I guess now…" He stopped glancing towards the window where the pale, faint dusky pinks and golds of sunrise mingled with the fading gray of night. It would be a sunny day full of blue skies. Angrily he slammed his mug down on a granite end table, sloshing the brew over the sides.

"It's not supposed to be pretty today. It shouldn't be beautiful out there," Danny gestured to the rising sun. "Not when I'm left here alone. She's gone and the damned sun still rises like nothing changed!"

Mac paused a moment allowing Danny his anger. Keeping the information he held from Danny toyed with his sense of duty and morality. He only wished there was a clear path for him to choose, one that would cause Danny the least amount of pain considering the circumstances. Mac opened his mouth to speak, but another emotional outburst from Danny caught him off guard.

"You know that I thought about maybe proposing to her a few weeks back? I didn't because I wanted to wait until the perfect time, the perfect moment to prove how special she is…was…in my life." His voice wavered, "I thought I had time. Now she's gone. I never got the chance to give her that moment. Oh God Mac, I never go to ask her to spend the rest of her life with me, to hear her say 'yes', to see her eyes fill with tears when I slipped the ring on her finger! I let it all just glide away!" Danny leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window pane. Closing his eyes he fought a losing battle with tears he didn't know that he had left.

Eyeing the broken, half-shell of the man in front of him, Mac suddenly knew where his sense of compassion, loyalty and friendship would take him. Rising he moved to stand next to Danny, placing a comforting hand between his shoulders. "Wait here for a moment. As soon as I come back down we need to talk." After Danny made a low guttural sound of acceptance, Mac turned heading up the stairs.

As he reached the master bedroom where he now slept as a widower instead of a married man, he could almost feel Claire's presence guiding his steps. She had inspired him to strive to be a better man during their time together. Now as he slowly opened the top dresser drawer reaching inside to remove a rectangular box, he knew she was encouraging him still.

Mac closed the drawer leaning against the wall for support. With unsteady hands he lifted the black velvet lid revealing a flawless oval diamond flanked by clusters of sapphires. It was the engagement ring he'd presented to Claire the night he proposed. He still remembered the night…

_Yes, yes, YES! Of course I'll marry you!' Her eyes alight with laughter, excitement and the knowledge of being loved absolutely, Claire held out her hand. 'So are you going to just sit there grinning like a fool all night Mac, or are you going to slip this ring on my finger before I change my mind,' she'd teased him, loving the way her usually unflappable man seemed to have lost all composure. 'I love you Claire, always, until the stars fall from the sky.' With that sentiment he'd slipped the ring on her finger, vowing never to forget the way the most beautiful woman in the world looked at that moment…_

And he had never forgotten. While some memories had started to fade around the edges, that night was imprinted on his heart until the day he drew his final breath. Running his thumb across the smooth surface of the center diamond, Mac knew that his intentions would have made Claire proud and happy. Closing the box with a 'snap' Mac headed downstairs to find Danny.

With his body still facing the window, watching signs of life creep into the city streets below, Danny turned as he heard Mac approach.

"Sit with me a while," Mac suggested settling into an armchair, while Danny chose the sofa. "There's news from the recovery team."

"They were able to identify her," Danny exclaimed. "Thank God."

"No…Danny they employed search and rescue a few hours ago because they believe there may be possible survivors. After all the bodies were recovered, they were still missing some residents." Unsure of how Danny might react, Mac braced his hands on the arms of the chair.

"What? Mac I was there last night and saw the building…it was gone! Destroyed! A shell of charred debris. You saw it too! You're telling me there might've been people who survived? How? Mac…oh my God…Mac…." Eyes that burned too bright, in a face three shades beyond pale bore into Mac begging him for answers to questions yet unasked.

Sensing Danny's barely contained instinct to head over to the burned out apartment building Mac spoke quickly. "The building used to be a factory. It wasn't turned into apartments until sometime in the 80's. It had numerous purposes and renovations before that, but there is a chance that the original storage containers built to store bolts of fabric, had never been changed. Those containers, when they were constructed, were at the cutting edge of building techniques in terms of keeping resources safe and protected from water damage—," Mac 's flow of words abruptly ended as Danny took over.

"—and fire! They think there could be survivors that sought shelter in the containers when they couldn't get out! Mac we gotta go there! Lindsay might be alive!" Danny stood, his eyes darting around the room unsure of where to focus. He ran his hands through his hair like a man possessed. His stomach jumped. His heart thudded in sporadic bursts of nerves and excitement. All nerve endings tingled with possibility.

Mac rose placing a hand around his shoulder. "We'll go, but Danny remember that this is speculation on the part of the rescuers. Nothing is for certain or for sure…all we can do is," Mac hesitated afraid the word would catch in his throat, "…hope… and pray."

With a brusque nod Danny shrugged off Mac's hand, barreling towards the door. "Danny wait! There's one more thing," Mac called, halting his bolt to the nearest exit.

"What Mac! What? I need to be there….no matter what the outcome. I need to be there for her!" The desperation in Danny's voice rocked Mac to his soul, reassuring him of his next decision.

"I know you do, but I need to give you something before we walk out of here." Mac pulled the velvet box from his pocket, ignoring Danny's impatient shifting from foot to foot.

"When I married Claire, for our one year anniversary I bought her a diamond with emerald studded wedding band she'd been eyeing. She loved it. Once she put it on she never took it off. Her original engagement ring and wedding band we placed in a safety deposit box to one day pass on to a son we might've had. That never happened. After her death I brought the ring home with me so I could look at it, remembering the day I proposed."

Mac cleared his throat as it tightened with emotion. Taking Danny's hand he placed the box in his palm, closing his friend's fingers around the soft velvet. "If….The…I want you to have this," he finally managed to get out. "The second you see her I want you to slip it on her finger. You love her. She loves you. That love is powerful, deserving of a lifetime of happiness. I wish that for you Danny, I wish it for you both."

Danny felt the weight of the box in his hand. Understanding the emotion behind the gift in a way he never possibly could've before the previous night, he didn't open the box. There was no need. It was what the ring symbolized, not what its appearance was that made it unique. Raising his eyes to meet Mac's he grasped his hand. "Thank you, for more than you can possibly imagine…" Too choked up to continue Danny swallowed, trying to push the tears away.

Feeling ready to break down as well, Mac guided Danny outside.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The drive to Lindsay's apartment building should've taken twenty minutes, but Mac made it in ten. Slamming the vehicle into park, the two men joined a group a people watching rescuers drag piles of debris away. They didn't speak, just watched, afraid that any action or sound they made could tip the hand of fate against them.

Time crept by, minutes stretching into hours, hours feeling like days. Coffee was sipped, left to get stale on the curb, the crowd of onlooker grew, but there was still no sign that they had found anyone alive.

After four hours Danny and Mac noticed the major commotion stop. Rescuers came running from all areas to help remove debris from a specific location. Paramedics straightened, looking instantly alert. Without thinking Danny's hand reached in his pocket to close a vice like grip around the ring. Mac held his breath; doing something he hadn't done since Claire's death, he prayed that Lindsay would be a survivor.

A sudden cheer arose from the crowd as a man was pulled from the rubble. Immediately paramedics helped hoist him onto a stretcher, assessing his injuries, applying oxygen and preparing to transport to the nearest hospital.

Next two children came out, and the thankful cries of their mother echoed through the street. They too were whisked away for medical treatment. A fourth person emerged, again male, but then the rescuers seemed to pause as the man was taken away.

Danny's heart hovered close to beating out of his chest. His mind screamed Lindsay's name, but he pressed his lips into a determined grim line, waiting.

Peyton's voice reverberated in Mac's brain, five…five people…..five people unaccounted for…. He knew the information she had could've been wrong, or that something had happened while trapped to reduce the number of survivors.

Suddenly a petite female figure was hoisted from the space. Gingerly the rescuers handed her over to paramedics who gently adjusted her weight onto a stretcher. Even though the police tape kept them a good distance back, Danny knew it was Lindsay. His body jolted to life. Without a thought to protocol he raced under the yellow tape. Mac trailed frantically behind, flashing his badge to keep anyone from pushing them back.

Danny reached her just as the paramedics rolled her towards the ambulance. Her right arm appeared broken; she was covered in soot with an oxygen mask over her face. He thought she'd never looked more beautiful. He took a step forward, reaching for her uninjured left hand when he turned to Mac who'd stopped a few paces behind him.

"Mac when you asked Claire to marry you, what'd you say? Anything special?"

Comprehension dawned on Mac as he nodded. "I told her I loved always…and that I would until the stars fell from the sky." Mac gave Danny a half-smile, which broadened as he watched Danny take the ring out of the box.

Lindsay tried to speak, but Danny soothed her. "Shhhh…it's alright. I'm here. Lindsay I was waiting for the perfect time to do this, but frankly I can't think of any better moment than now!" As the paramedics readied to place her in the back of the ambulance he took her left hand. "Lindsay, I love you, always, until the stars fall from the sky. Will you marry me?"

Lindsay's red rimmed and smoke irritated eyes filled with tears as she nodded. Danny glided the ring on her finger, climbing in to ride with her to the hospital. With a look back at Mac he mouthed 'thank you'. Mac smiled, raising a hand in farewell as the engine started and the vehicle pulled away.

Mac watched until the final ambulance pulled out of sight. It had come full circle, both the ring and the words. Mac glanced at the charred building, somehow it all seemed fitting that Claire would be a part of this event with him, in spirit if not in flesh.

Mac knew that as people aged they looked back on life as lasting just a moment, but now he understood that only the lucky people grasped what a gift it was to have a moment that lasted a lifetime. He wished many such moments for Danny and Lindsay, and with a silent message of love lifted to Claire, knew it was time to make some additional ones for him.

As he headed towards his car, Mac felt an easiness that'd been missing since his wife's passing. With a look up at the stunning blue sky, he realized he'd finally been able to let go of his heartbreak. With those echoes gone, he could clasp the good memories near to his heart, and finally move on with his life.

The End.

_A/N: Thank you so much to all who read and reviewed this story! I appreciated all your comments! Thanks again!_


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